Mentally out of something.

It's been over two months since I last posted anything, and far longer than that since I've posted anything substantial.  It's not that I haven't had things to say, it's that I've allowed myself to get swamped, I've gotten confused, and my priorities are all in a jumble right now.

Not entirely.  Graduate school, my research, those continue to be my highest priorities, even as I've had to set them aside for a couple of months.

I can't focus, though, because my personal life priorities just seem to be confused.  And I don't know what to say about them.  A friend of mine often writes in her blog about how she sometimes has it all going on in her head, and can't put it down in writing.  I'm having that issue myself right now.

I'm living in New Mexico right now, just for a couple of months.  After that, it's back to graduate school (well, actually starting my PhD program), and that will help some, I think.

I do not know how to make structure for myself when I have little to none.  Even in my masters program, I'd manage to get to all my classes, and on time, but I couldn't schedule my other time to best do my research or grade papers or just have fun.  Or focus on my out-of-class writing and photography.

I'm not feeling creative right now.  I'm feeling mostly out of whack.  I had a poem start in my head one night, and instead of sitting up and writing down what I "heard", I figured I'd remember in the morning.  That was less than brilliant, and I think I knew that.  I just think I didn't want to focus on the feelings causing that poem.

I'm going to try to get it all back in order.  But at the moment, I feel very built on a foundation of sand, and it's slowly eroding.  There's some bedrock under there, I'm certain, but I can't find it right now.

Anyway, that's me surfacing briefly.  Ironically, I'm relatively certain almost no one is going to see it.  That's okay.  It's good, I think, to put it up here anyway.